Texas Home Security System

HOW TO INSTALL A HOME SECURITY SYSTEM

1. Go to a second-hand store and buy a pair of men's used size 14-16 work boots.

2. Place them on your front porch, along with several empty beer cans, a copy
of Guns & Ammo magazine, and several NRA magazines.

3. Put a few giant dog dishes next to the boots and magazine.

4. Leave a note on your door that reads:
Hey Bubba! Big Jim, Duke, Slim, and me went to the gun shop for more
ammunition. Back in an hour. Don't mess with the pit bulls -- they attacked
the mailman this morning and messed him up real bad. I don't think Killer took
part in it but it was hard to tell from all the
blood.

PS - I locked all four of 'em in the house. Better wait outside.