If you want someone who will bring you the paper without first tearing it apart
to remove the sports section............

Buy a dog.

If you want someone willing to make a fool of himself simply over the joy of
seeing you............

Buy a dog.

If you want someone who will eat whatever you put in front of him and never says
its not quite as good as his mother made it…….

Buy a dog.

If you want someone always willing to go out, at any hour, for as long and
wherever you want………..

Buy a dog.

If you want someone who will never touch the remote, doesn't give a darn about
football, and can sit next to you as you watch romantic movies….

Buy a dog.

If you want someone who is content to get up on your bed just to warm your feet
and whom you can push off if he snores……

Buy a dog.

If you want someone who never criticizes what you do, who doesn't care if you
are pretty or ugly…..

Buy a dog.

If you want someone who doesn't care if you are fat or thin, young or old…..

Buy a dog.

If you want someone who acts as if every word you say is especially worthy of
listening to, and loves you unconditionally, perpetually………….

Buy a dog.

But, on the other hand, If you want someone who will never come when you call,
ignores you totally when you come home, leaves hair all over the place, walks
all over you, runs around all night and only comes home to eat and sleep, and
acts as if your entire existence is solely to ensure his happiness.

Then my friend, Buy a cat!

You thought I was talking
about MEN didn't you!?